Astronomy Jokes And Humour

Astronomy Jokes And Humour

Does anyone out there have any funny astronomy jokes?  The best I’ve heard so far are:

SPACE

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too!

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.. it’s impossible to put down!

A spiral galaxy walked into a bar for a drink. The barman threw him out and said “You’re barred!”

Q: How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
A: Three. A left ear, a right ear, and a final frontier!

Q: What do you call an alien with three eyes?
A: An aliiien!

Q: Why didn’t the Dog Star laugh at the joke?
A: It was too Sirius.

Q: What kind of stars wear sunglasses?
A: Movie stars

Q. What do you do if you see an an aggressive alien?
A. Give it some space!

Q. What should you do if you see a green alien?
A. Wait until it’s ripe!

Q: Why did the star get arrested?
A: Because it was a shooting star!

ASTRONAUTS

Q: Where does an astronaut dock his spacecraft?
A: At a parking meteor.

Q: What happened to the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum?
A: He got stuck in Orbit!

Q: How does one astronaut on the moon tell another astronaut that he is sorry?
A: He Apollo-gises.

Q: If athletes get “Athlete’s Foot”  What do astronauts get?
A: Missile toe.

Q: How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?
A: You rocket!

Q: What do you call a crazy spaceman?
A: An astro-nut

Q: What do astronauts wear to keep warm?
A: Apollo-neck sweaters!

Q: How do spacemen pass the time on long trips?
A: They play astronauts and crosses!

PLANETS

Scientists have found that the center of Jupiter contains the letter “i”.

*Jupiter came down to Earth one day and helped these two criminals plan a bank robbery. Anyway, they both got caught and after the judge sentenced the two earthlings to fifteen years behind bars, Jupiter was a bit shocked to get arrested and handed a ten year stretch himself. “But your honour. I didn’t even take part in the robbery!” said Jupiter. “Yes” replied the judge. “But you did help them Planet!”

Q: How does Jupiter hold up his trousers?
A: With an asteroid belt.

Q: What type of songs do the planets sing?
A: Nep-tunes!

Q: What did Mars say to Saturn?
A: Give me a ring sometime!

*The density of Saturn is so low that the whole planet would float on the water in your bath? However, you wouldn’t want to try this experiment at home as it would leave a massive ring around the tub.

Astronomy Jokes And HumourMOON

*One kid asks the other, “Which is closer, Florida or the Moon? the second answers: “Duh! The Moon! You can’t see Florida from here!

Q: what do you call a tick on the moon?
A: A luna-tick.

Q: How do you know when the moon is going broke?
A: When it’s down to its last quarter.

Q: What was the name of the first satellite to orbit the Earth?
A: The Moon.

Q: How does the Man in the Moon cut his hair?
A: Eclipse it.

Q: Did you hear about the bones they found on the moon?
A: It seems like the cow didn’t make it after all. (hey diddle diddle)

Q: What do moon people do when they get married?
A: They go off on their honeyearth!

Q: Why does a moon rock taste better than an Earth rock?
A: It’s a little meteor.

Q: Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?
A: Because it was full.

Q: How is the moon like a dollar?
A: It has four quarters.

Q: Why is the Moon bald?
A: He has no ‘air

SUN

*I was up all night wondering where the Sun had gone… then it dawned on me.

*Living on Earth might be expensive but at least you get a free trip around the Sun every year.

Copernicus’ parents might deserve some of the credit for his great discovery. Apparently at the age of twelve they said to him: “Copernicus, young man, when are you going to realize that the world does NOT revolve around you.”

  • http://ilcats.gov Talon

    damn dude

    • Ashley

      Yea